sleek robot harboring an unhealthy obsession over its cat

centennial (er, quincentennial): 500th idea celebrating 500 ideas

Hey! You! This is the 500th one!

Fun fact: Elderly Apple was originally slated as an experiment to see if I could come up with 50 wacky ideas in 50 days. I'm now at 10 times that amount. So, the answer to the experiment: yes! Also, I have later expanded my experiment length until the current projection of 1000 days. That means that we are at the (official, as of now) halfway point in this comic's life. Go back 501 days, and this place would be quite empty. Come back in 501 days, and this place will be...okay, it will actually be quite full.

But why argue semantics?! We're at another milestone! Hot damn!

Now, if you've been here since at least 100 days ago, you may remember that unlike my normal centennial routine, the 400th idea was actually something new and exciting. You're probably thinking, "Well, maybe he's turned a corner! Maybe he's finally on the road to doing something good every hundred days! Maybe he actually will do something new and exciting again!"

Well, no. Gotta keep you on your toes, after all.

Now, today is somewhat of an interesting day. You see, not only is it my quincentennial celebration, but it's also my birthday. For twenty-two consecutive years, I have managed to avoid getting hit by buses and bullets alike, and today, I force people to acknowledge that fact by giving me gifts and baked goods.

Now, I typically don't try to mix the Microcosm with the real world. Elderly Apple is Elderly Apple, and reality is reality. However, imagine my surprise when I found a card on my pillow (actually, the card was on my face, which was subsequently on the pillow).



What's this? My own creations were sending cards to me? Was this the work of the Elderly Apple Guy?

Wait...cake? There's cake? Where's cake?!

Ohhh....theeere's the cake.


That is a hand-sculpted cake, crafted by a local bakery, meant to resemble our titular character, Pliny the Elderly Apple. Personally, I find it somewhat conceited (or, alternatively, disturbing) that Pliny himself would give me a cake modeled after himself. But I suppose its better than seeing my head molded out of sweet bread (or...*shudder*...the Elderly Apple Guy's). So I guess I won't look this gift horse in the mouth. Instead, here's some more pictures!


Thanks, creations, for this lovely cake! Happy birthday to me, and to all a good night! Er, day. Yeah.

UPDATE:

You wanted them, here they are: photographic evidence of the dismemberment of this effigy of poor ol' Pliny, the Elderly Apple. I have no sympathy, though; after all, if you make a cake of yourself, what do you expect?!

This was all done during a barbecue/sports-shebang during a bright, sunshiny California day, which explains the outdoorsy nature, the style of dress and *gasp* the other human beings. Sometimes, when you work with a two-dimensional doppleganger of yourself like The Elderly Apple Guy, you forget real, flesh and blood humans exist. As do cakes. Which get cut up and eaten.












And yes, it was absolutely delicious. And no, it was unfortunately not apple flavored (as such a filling is apparently uncommon). But it's just like those old Apple Jacks commercials. It doesn't taste like apple, but it's still good, consarnit!

centennial (er, tricentennial): 300th idea celebrating 300 ideas

Hey! You! This is the 300th one!

They say that the majority of webcomics die out before their 50th strip. Not only have I missed that achievement once, but an additional five times. I'll have to try harder in the future. :|

Now, as per usual, I like to do something different in my centennial strips. Now, I know you're thinking to yourself, "maybe he'll do something new and exciting this time!"

You seriously need to get your head checked.

While I refuse to actual do anything new for this idea, I will answer a question that I've been asked by - literally - multiple people.

What goes into the creation of a single idea of Elderly Apple?

So, that is the topic for today. What do I do every night to make sure you have something to look at the following morning? Let's begin with the materials.

These are my tools. Labeling them individually, we have:
-A Canson 8.5" x 5.5" sketch book.
-One #2 pencil and a good eraser
-50 Crayola Washable Markers (Including 10 "Silly Scent" Markers for those late nights)
-50 Crayola Colored Pencils
-Pixma MP150 All-In-One Printing (for importing real drawings into the digital world!)

These fellows are my entourage, my chief critics, and my best only friends. They watch me at all times, silently judging me.

This is my laptop, the portal by which I transfer computerized information from my room to the world! You may notice a large screen behind it. This was the monitor for my old computer, which was about 20 times more powerful than this laptop, but then died. Completely. Motherboard and primary hard drive, all lost. :( I will be getting a new computer sometime at the beginning of next year, but for now, I chug along on this little baby, which can barely run Photoshop without shuddering in pain.

And now, we'll take a look at my workstation (that is, my room).

Here's a wall in said room. This wall could be my inspiration for adding wings to everything.

Here is another wall. I like animals.

Like I said, I like animals.

Wait! Don't go! What's wrong? Oh, you wanted to see pictures of the actual creation of an Elderly Apple idea, and not just the environment in which it's done? Well, damn. That means I actually need to have pictures taken of me, and not by me. You're making this more complicated than it needs to be, buster!

But fine. We'll go your way. Here, in chronological order, is how one idea of Elderly Apple is made:

7:00pm-11:59pm: Here we observe Andrew Schnorr (uh, me) in his (uh, my) natural environment, doing what he (uh, I) always does (uh, do).

12:00am: Around this time, I realize that it's already tomorrow, and that I should have started working on my next Elderly Apple idea.

12:02am: So, I take out my sketchbook and my trusty pencil to begin drawing out something. No, I don't have a sharpener in my mouth; that is me trying to come up with an idea.

12:12am: At this time, if you could look into my mind, it would be like a nuclear explosion. No, no, not the explosion, but rather the eerie silence afterward, with a slight wind blowing the debris around.

12:17am: At this point, I realize that I just cannot come up with an idea. Things said at this point include "Lord preserve me," "Please, PLEASE, any idea will do," "Why the Hell did I start this stupid webcomic," and "Have I already added wings to a hammer yet?...Damn."

12:18am: Realizing that I'm not going to get anything done in a waking state, I decide to sleep on it. And that's when I check out of this whole process, and my co-creator checks in.

12:22am: Ah, you see? It's already happening. Maybe I should clarify. I only do a portion of the work here. I write comments, I maintain the site, but I haven't actually made a comic in a while. That's not Andrew Schnorr's job anymore. That job belongs to The Elderly Apple Guy.

12:24am: And here he is, fully woken up, ready to get to work and pick up where I left off.

12:25am: What's this? He's already come up with an idea? Damn, he's fast.

12:27am: With little time to spare, The Elderly Apple Guy grabs the sketchbook and some markers and begins to create.

12:28am: As you can see, he is a master of his art.

12:32am: After getting everything drawn and colored, The Elderly Apple Guy will scan the image into the computer, do some finishing touches, and then post it online at 12:34am (which is a number you sometimes see around). Sensational!

12:35am: At this point, The Elderly Apple Guy leaves. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that the newest idea is posted up online, and so I comment upon it, thus completing the process for another day.

And that's it. Now that you know how it's done, you can do it yourself!

Wait. That gives me more competition.

Damn.